Five years ago, I learned that I was going to become an aunt. I was SO excited. I had decided that I was going to be a cool aunt. That IS what aunts are, right? An extension of a parent, yet JUST removed enough to be cool? :) I could totally picture telling my little niece or nephew all sorts of rhymes, little songs, all about what makes him/her special, I could picture everything.
A problematic pregnancy brought Fourth into this world far too early. October 12. My first thought? He was born on an anniversary that I share with my mom. It has been a long standing anniversary since 1990. This precious boy was born on a special day! The second thing I thought of? He's my birthday month buddy! I could now tell him all the wonderful things I like about October, and add to the aforementioned list of what makes him special: You were born in my favorite month. Oh, the joy that filled my heart.
I looked at his tiny body at the hospital, and I saw a perfect little baby. He had the sweetest little face, the cutest little nose, the tiniest of hands and feet, but everything was perfect. I looked at him, and I remember thinking, "My God is REAL, and He is mighty." There is just something about looking into the face of a baby that makes me feel like I am looking into the face of God. It is awe inspiring.
I never thought precious Fourth wouldn't live. You see, I was born early. I beat the odds. I just knew that was something he and I would share.
Only God knows why He chose to give our family this precious baby, only to take him back a short six days later. When I think of Fourth now, I think of him as a happy baby being cradled in the breast of Jesus. Perhaps that is silly or inacurrate, but I like to think that Jesus cradles His covenant children. As deep of a hurt as it was to not only lose a nephew, but watch my brother and his wife lose their first born, and not being able to do anything to lessen their pain, I find comfort in knowing we will be reunited again. Fourth is in the hands of the One who holds all who know, trust and believe in Him.
Happy Birthday, sweet Fourth. Aunt JuJu loves you so deeply.
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